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*o-Helix-o:icono-Helix-o:

Cheryl  

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*horusrogue:iconhorusrogue:
SHOIUUUTTSSS
Thu May 1, 2008, 12:42 PM

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Recent Journal Entries

  • 6/17/08 New Photos
  • 6/13/08 hmmm really dont know
  • 5/1/08 missed opportunities
  • 4/11/08 Vacation Thoughts
  • 4/2/08 I'm Back
  • 1/27/08 release
  • 5/27/07 Another start to new begginings
  • 4/13/07 Just some ranting
  • 3/14/07 Just something new
  • 3/11/07 A I Photoshoot

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    The views expressed on this website are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect those of deviantART or my employers.

    missed opportunities

    Journal Entry: Thu May 1, 2008, 8:26 AM
    so this month has been a little crazy. There was a few tornadoes that went through an area that wasnt to far from where i am. So far i havent heard about any deaths just injuries which is just abosolutely amazing. I know it may sound wrong but i wanted to go and take pictures of the aftermath but i didnt. I guess i wanted to capture how strong nature is yet how much we as humans can go through and still be strong enough to pick up the pieces.
    So besides the weather, i have been going through some tough emotional issues. Im torn on whether or not i should take some time off work to go help out my family or stay and just send a small contribution to help out with the difficult times. Even though ive send more than my share. I really care what is going on but ive seen what ive sent go to brother and sister when thats the reason they need to money. They both work and live with them but cant contribute so im getting calls ever week to wire more. I cant just write them off but i have to make this cease. They walked all over me when i lived there and they seem to still be able to. I love my family but i dont know how much more i can give. I know my last jounal i was talking of a vacation but now i wont be able to take it. Because of what i just sent to help out. So once again a dream i have is stomped on just like prom, travel softball, and new clothes. All things i couldnt do or have because of my lieing theiving brother and gambling addicted mother. But ive never been able to turn away and never will they are my family. What do i do, i need to worry about myself but cant when everyone elses dumps their needs and wants on me. How do i say no without myself getting write off like the uncaring daughter. I wish they could see how their tearing me apart, and how its taking a toll on my relationship with my boyfriend. It was hard enough to cancel the plans for a vacation with him, he says he's not mad but i can tell he's upset about it. I dont know I dont know I dont know

    Stamps =D


    Clubs :boogie:
    :icongimmefeedback:
    • Mood: Isolated
    • Watching: six feet under season 4
    • Playing: with your head
    • Eating: leftover pineapple pizza
    • Drinking: coffee coffee coffee

    Devious Comments

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    ~killadore:iconkilladore: May 1, 2008, 9:18:09 AM
    Man, that sounds so shitty..Have you told them what you wrote here? I think they should know when they're hurting you like that. And if they don't really care about that, well, there's only so much you can do. Like you said, after contributing with more than your share, you should be able to concentrate on yourself. You only live once, and not for the sake of those who don't care about you.

    --
    [link] to my gallery
    *horusrogue:iconhorusrogue: May 1, 2008, 12:42:50 PM
    Whoa. Youre female? ROFL :P

    --
    .~_o| Indeterminism does not confer freedom on us: I would feel that my freedom was impaired if I thought that a quantum mechanical trigger in my brain might cause me to leap into the garden and eat a slug
    *o-Helix-o:icono-Helix-o: May 3, 2008, 6:08:42 PM
    yeah i have told them but they still come by and get to me. its harder when its family, and they did know about the vacation but still come crying to me. Its really my father im concerned about because with all the problems that are going on there he is having trouble affording his meds and stuff so that is mainly the only reason i give them anything anymore.

    maybe one day i can say no without crying.

    --
    spinning in and out of my reality
    *o-Helix-o:icono-Helix-o: May 3, 2008, 6:09:32 PM
    yeah, so whats so funny? i thought it was obvious.

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    spinning in and out of my reality
    *horusrogue:iconhorusrogue: May 4, 2008, 4:48:05 PM
    No, didn't mean to laugh at all I was just taken by surprise.

    --
    .~_o| Indeterminism does not confer freedom on us: I would feel that my freedom was impaired if I thought that a quantum mechanical trigger in my brain might cause me to leap into the garden and eat a slug
    *o-Helix-o:icono-Helix-o: May 4, 2008, 5:11:43 PM
    oh because my frontpage says im female....its alright i didnt know i came off so boyish

    --
    spinning in and out of my reality
    *horusrogue:iconhorusrogue: May 6, 2008, 8:57:32 PM
    I never noticed it I appologise greatly.

    --
    .~_o| Indeterminism does not confer freedom on us: I would feel that my freedom was impaired if I thought that a quantum mechanical trigger in my brain might cause me to leap into the garden and eat a slug
    *o-Helix-o:icono-Helix-o: May 7, 2008, 7:44:38 AM
    its ok dont worry about it

    --
    spinning in and out of my reality
    *horusrogue:iconhorusrogue: May 7, 2008, 11:33:02 AM
    Doesn't change much anyways :)

    --
    .~_o| Indeterminism does not confer freedom on us: I would feel that my freedom was impaired if I thought that a quantum mechanical trigger in my brain might cause me to leap into the garden and eat a slug
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